Buddy Can You Spare a Dime

Buddy Can You Spare a Dime
Bing Crosby

When my kids were younger, we would always carry loose change in our pockets in case we came upon a street performer or someone with a hand out.    Perhaps it was because the kids were small and closer to the sidewalk and visual of these people, that they saw them immediately and asked for some coins to give away.   Or maybe it was because their eyes were open and had not yet become prejudiced by society's caution against scams and enabling the unfortunate to live unhealthy lifestyles.     They gave freely.    They danced with the performers.   They looked into the eyes of the people on the street without fear

When did that all change?   When did we stop carrying extra change?  When did we adopt the attitude that beggars were scammers or sponging off society.    When did we distrust everything we saw?  When someone asks for change for a bus or a coffee...why do we automatically assume they are being creative with the truth?

I hear myself replying to these requests that 'I have no change'.  When I know for sure that there are coins in my pocket or perhaps a snack that I can pass along.   I don't like what I hear myself saying.   I enjoy much of the music on the street and the sense that these performers share their gifts with such joy but yet, my purse strings remain tight.   Worse than that, I see that my kids have adopted the same practice.  What have I taught them? What am I afraid of?    

I am now making an attempt to change.    I consciously keep a few coins in my pocket when I go out for a walk.   I'm not so reluctant to part with my 'spare change'.     When someone asks 'Buddy can you spare a dime...or quarter, dollar, whatever, I hope that I will be there.   I hope that it will brighten their day and perhaps mine.

Night Moves

Night Moves
Bob Seger

What you shouldn't do if you wake up in the middle of the night and can't seem to get back to sleep:

1. NEVER look at the clock.  If it's dark and there are no birds singing then it's too early to get up.  Well for most people.    Morning radio hosts may beg to differ.
2.  Don't look at your phone or tablet to check e-mails.    First off the light itself will throw your brain into wake up mode and it will take even longer to shut it down to allow you to get back to sleep which is likely what you want; to sleep that is.   Second, who the heck is e-mailing you in the middle of the night?  If it's a time zone issue then if you respond they will read your note while thinking why the heck are you responding to my e-mail in the middle of the night?   No one is expecting a response nor feeling extra special because they think you got up in the middle of the night to respond.  More than likely they are thinking you are crazy for even reading the note at that hour.
3.  Don't consider killing the time doing all those things on your to do list.  Like - what a great time to work on my finances or sort out my sock drawer.  Try again.  Maybe a great time to count those socks as you lie there visualizing them leaping over fences - you know - counting sheep.

Do:

1. If you aren't already wearing them.  Put on a pair of socks.   Proven - by me- that if I wear socks to bed, I sleep soundly.  It works.  I dare you to try it.   But don't sort your sock drawer while you are picking them out.
2. Stay in bed.  Except to get your socks.   Even if you don't fall asleep you are getting rest and maybe a bit of nap if you nod off a bit.   But don't get up and get your body and brain thinking that it's morning.   The two of them can work together into making you feel like it's ok and you don't need any more shut-eye but the big crash will hit you most likely at that time when you would normally just be getting up.    Then it will be come altogether clear that they were leading you on....but you put them up to it in the first place.
3. Drink water.   Not gallons because then you'll be up again to get rid of it.  Just enough to justify in your mind why you woke up which will keep you thinking of all the other things that might be the cause of that.  .
4. Breathe deep and long.    If you do it right you could just pass out....not the best approach but might get where you want to be.   You are already lying down so what's the problem?
5. Let go of the thoughts that keeping you up.  Visualize them floating away.   I kind of sort of just made this one up.   But sounds pretty good to me.   Or quickly write it down so it's not in your head anymore but on a piece of paper on your bedside.    You can write in the dark you know.  Remember, it's not about being able to read it in the morning but rather getting it out of your brain.

In case you hadn't mentally logged it, that means you need to keep beside your bed: socks, water, paper and pencil.   No cell phone or computer unless you have mastered the art of ignoring them.   

Good luck and sleep tight - no talk of bedbugs.  How did anyone ever get to sleep with that as their nightly send off?!

I've got no strings to hold me down

I've Got No Strings
Leigh Harlline and Ned Washington (from Pinnochio)

I have been walking around with this song in my mind....blasting at times for the past 18 months.   It keeps me up, keeps me bouncing, keeps me smiling.   

In order to understand the relevance of this tune, it is important that I tell you that I am a breast cancer survivor and that I elected in my treatment to proceed with a double mastectomy.  In non- medical terms that means I gave the doctors permission to remove both my breasts...even though there was only cancer cells evident in the one.   

Once you recover from the surgery it is hard to adjust to the idea of feeling feminine without the one physical trait that identifies us as such.    It takes a while to get let go of the programming we have gone through growing up - the images that we have in mind of what it means to be a woman.      Once you get past that part, then the struggle is finding clothes that work.   But once you get beyond that it is the best thing in the world.   So freeing, so fun, so liberating.     

Ok, speaking to the women here....just imagine, waking up, throwing on a t- shirt and going out for the day.  No concerns about feeling exposed or loose.      Ok, if that doesn't do it for you, imagine a hot summer day, you are going to a wedding....imagine just throwing on a dress and underwear and you are done...no straps, no binding, no 'I can't wait to get home and rip off this bra!!!'.       Ok, I had to go through cancer diagnosis and treatment but I consider it my reward for a job well done.   

One day I woke up fully accepting my new persona... and the song came blasting in my brain.

I've got no boobs to hold me down
To make me fret
To make me frown
I've got no boobs 
But now I'm free
There are no boobs on me.

Catchy tune.  It has become my mantra.  If you know anyone going through breast cancer treatment and considering treatment options, throw the song their way and see if it fits.    It might just help them in the decision making process.